


feel the beat now, if you've got nothing left

by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse



Series: Heart Heart Heartbreak [7]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, M/M, Pining, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse/pseuds/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He drinks and doesn't let it affect his game until it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	feel the beat now, if you've got nothing left

**Author's Note:**

> I need to go to bed

They don't know Kaner knows. They're all smiles when they're all alone, holding hands and fucking cuddling like they have some relationship that doesn't break his fucking heart.

He drinks more then he ever did. The only difference is that he that he does it in his house now. Stays sober before games, but once it's all said and done, win or lose, if he has a day off after he goes home, ignores the guy's invitations to hang out for the alcohol hidden around his house.

Jonny doesn't notice. Saader gives him looks sometimes though, like he's analyzing Kaner. Trying to find out is he's changed or not. Trying to get a feel as to whether Kaner seems different.

He drinks and doesn't let it affect his game until it does. A bad decision made to drink before a game and he's on the chopping block. Hundreds of people are disappointed and angry at him. A smaller amount are concerned and panicked, his sudden drop in attitude and friendliness. He doesn't let it affect his game, not again, but it's too late. People have taken notice to his lack of emotions. They start calling him a hockey robot, like they use to call Jonny, and speculating on what made him spiral down so quickly and violently.

It still feels like Jonny is the last one to figure it out, cornering him in the locker room, the same corner Kaner had seen Jonny and Saader making out in. Jonny talks at him, yells and grumbles, and it all blurs together as Patrick watched Jonny's mouth moving. He spaces out long enough for Jonny to notice his lack of attention and gets chewed out for that as well.

Patrick suddenly just feels so tired. So done with everything. He stops Jonny in the middle of his speech, cutting him off with a raised hand. He walks out without a word to Jonny, not a glance. He goes home and drinks until he passes out, drowning in the blackness that clouds his vision.


End file.
